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  • 2 Post By HalcyonSon
  • 1 Post By CodeBlue
  • 1 Post By 1shinysideup
  • 1 Post By SilvieFox
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May 16th 2017, 07:25 PM   #1
 HalcyonSon's Avatar
  Apr 2016

The Day I Kung Fu'd a Deer

Not my story, just my favorite reddit find of the day.

This just happened about 30 minutes ago, I just got home. I live in rural New England and I was riding home this evening, leaning to my left around a long curve in the road, going about 65-70, and as I came around the curve I had about less than one second to process that a big fucking deer was running across the road, left to right.

I tried to gun it faster and straighten the bike up but I don't even know if that worked, because next thing that happens is the fucking deer's head connects with my leg and foot. I stayed upright though and just drifted to a stop further up the road, partly to calm my nerves and partly because I thought I just broke my foot, the pain was so bad.

I had to take my shoe off and make sure my toes were all still attached. A very nice lady pulled up behind me to check that I was alright, I guess she saw the deer on the side of the road. I don't know if it was dead or not but the poor bastard must at least have a goddamn concussion, and now my leg is forming a big gnarly bruise.

There's no damage to my bike whatsoever, it was literally a couple inches from being a T-bone collision. I'm just glad it didn't have antlers. Be careful out there, especially if you live in a place like I do and deer are getting very active this time of year.
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May 16th 2017, 08:10 PM   #2
 CodeBlue's Avatar
  Jan 2016
  Seattle, WA

  KTM 990 Adventure
I took one down about 10 years ago at 45mph just outside of Issaquah. Scary enough that when it gets to be dusk I try not to be on the road even now.

One of my best friends took one down at 125mph on Hwy 20 in 2010. Exiting a corner, stood the bike up just in time for a deer to jump off a ledge into the middle of the road. The guy behind him was covered in blood and deer stomach contents. My buddy walked away, some fucking how. Apparently the medics showed up and asked where the rider was. Someone pointed at him and the medics ran past him into the woods because they were so sure it'd be a body retrieval.
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May 17th 2017, 07:47 AM   #3
 1shinysideup's Avatar
  Jan 2016

Kamikaze forest rats.....that time of the year.
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May 17th 2017, 09:39 AM   #4
 Sentinel's Avatar
  Jun 2016
  Poor Tortured

  2013 Kawasaki Ninja 1000 Harlequin
Very simmilar thing happened to me a couple years ago on 101 near Hoodsport. Heading south on a Saturday morning and a deer bolted from the bushes, lowered his head like a bull, and rammed me. His head hit my left handlebar and then his rump swung around and hit the left rear quarter. Magically nothing hit my leg. I didn't go down. He pushed me onto the shoulder and I rode it out. I had only been going like 35 or 40. Normally I go a bit faster though there. Lucky. I guess. The clutch lever pinched my pinkie finger and smashed it pretty bad. Bone shattered. The plastic on my CBR1100XX was toast, pieces flap0ping everywhere, and falling off. When I finally stopped I found a bigass deer steak hooked to the left rear bungee cord hook behind the seat. Fur and blood and meat the size of a large t-bone. Didn't see what happened to him. I Rode home without a clutch. My hand....damn it hurt. But I didn't die. I think he probably did.
May 17th 2017, 09:58 AM   #5
 HalcyonSon's Avatar
  Apr 2016

I've been lucky enough on the bike. Had one or two spook me, but never actually hit me. I've destroyed two in my truck though
May 17th 2017, 10:37 AM   #6
 SilvieFox's Avatar
  Jan 2016
  welches, Oregon

  08Kawasaki Versys(Sylvester),72Suzuki RV90(vanvan),81Honda TwinStar(Bobber),Yamaha225,Honda Shadow
i haven't encountered a deer on the bike yet , but i have taken out 3 birds (one to the front fork[ninja] one to the arm[gs cafe] and one to the chest[secaII turbo] the chest was the worst. knocked the wind out of me and had to stop for about 10 min to catch my breath again) and more bugs then people on earth
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May 17th 2017, 11:04 AM   #7
 wooden's Avatar
  Jan 2016

  '14 St3R, '05 DR650
Buddy of mine hit an elk in Colorado a year or two ago and walked away relatively harm free... at least as far as hitting a creature 4x your size goes.

Not sure if the pic will post, nabbed all of this off Facebook:

And his story in all of its rambling glory (he writes the same way he announces skate events - just keep the words flowing...):

I feel like Chef Dan and I won. The Harley's didn't fair so well but the battle was hard fought. Pretty insane to walk away from this crash and only have a broken arm. I had time to adjust and my years of taken spills paid off BIG! I'm not going to try and come off cavalier or this was just another ride because all the professionals involved in our rescue were shocked at the story. A bull elk walked out into my lane Friday night while headed east on I 70. I was in the left lane with Chef Dan off my right shoulder, each of us sporting one of his 2015 Harley Davidson's. You'll understand why riding the particular make and model are an important detail. The bull elk that has just walked into the entire lane weighs in around 800lbs and perhaps 6ft at the shoulder. Chef Dan got a good look at this one as I closed the gap too quick to check out the rack, he said it was the BIG version. I'm riding the latest Dynaglide Lowrider coming in at 666lbs around 65mph. The left side here is all gnarly guard rail and if I clip the elk's ass jack the bars and fly into the rail. Go right, and again I'm so close that if I graze the thing the bars are gonna hook hard and I fly outta control onto the highway. I stood on the brakes, grabbed the front hard and saw the softest spot in the belly of the beast! Seriously it looked like a hay bail on the race course. When you've crashed a few times you look for the soft spot and aim. I lowered my chest to the tank and moved my hips to the rear fender while getting my face in the smallest air available. My ears were still ringing from shooting guns earlier that day which has quite a bit to do with the story. It was that kinda day, riding Harley's with Chef Dan in the rain through the mountains to go shoot guns at sunset. This day was sopping wet with machismo even down to the elk I'm about to try and cut in half with the Harley being a trophy bull. When you throw a strike bowling and the sound of the crashing pins could maybe describe the sound of the elks bones breaking? Like driving through a cord of wood if you've ever done that? I'm glad Chef Dan got to see this from his angle because my last sight was the side of the elk...a trophy bull elk. So from Chef's account it looked like I tried to ride through and then the red mist. The bike rammed the elk with enough force to send the two forward and knocked me off the back to slide on the highway with Chef laying his bike down to avoid hitting me. After coming to rest in the median and Chef Dan and I confirming our existence a small suv hit the remains of the elk (trophy bull) and rolled, just seconds after a tractor trailer tags the thing and hits the rail. While we were standing in the median and trying to guess what was going to happen next the suv driver joined us to see who was alive. I couldn't tell if I was finally going to get some new teeth but the taste of blood wasn't my own. My face hit the elk cracked my helmet shield and cut my nose so the money maker just got a little tougher looking. Thankfully no one else was injured. Chef Dan had dumped his shiny new Sportster 48 and had scraped his knee while not using me as a speed bump. The first responders had to deal with two guys who just escaped death and were out of our minds on adrenaline. When you are involved in a motorcycle crash and are ejected from the bike protocol for the arriving ER is to have everybody on duty ask you your name and date of birth 100 times while poking you with many hands. The looks of disbelief from so many doctors, nurses, cops and anyone who heard this patient hit an elk (trophy bull) with a motorcycle (2015 Harley Davidson Dynaglide Lowrider) and he's ok. I say ok because the broken arm is a small price to pay for the coolest outlaw biker bar story I will be able to never shut up about. You'll see me in the corner of a room with my arms out like I'm riding a motorcycle and think "will he ever stop telling that story?" Spouting about how the motorcycle I was on saved my life. The front rake, low rider position and overall size made it an ideal machine for riding through an elk...trophy bull elk. If you know bikes this one has some features suited for damaging big animals. Thanks to the folks at Harley who built that beautiful machine and making sure it packed the punch. If I could thank everyone who helped me that would be a challenge after just coming out of my self induced coma. Thank you to the first responders for getting us out of the calamity and reminding me I had some elk hair (trophy bull elk hair) imbedded in my helmet for a souvenir. The doctors and nurses at St. Anthony's in Denver who made me feel safe after experiencing total chaos. I can't apologize enough for hitting on all the sexy nurse costumes. I've got a broken arm and won't be able to work for the next 4-6 weeks so if anybody knows the cats at Harley Davidson I'm available for public speaking. If the kids at TedTalk want to reschedule I promise to show up this time. Maybe I will spend the time trying to come up with a warning system that tells you a potentially 1000lb animal just walked onto the road. Thanks to Chef Dan who let me try to ride through a trophy bull elk on his 2015 Harley Davidson Dyna Glide Lowrider. Thanks to what ever happened to keep us alive.
edit: he gave the elk hair that was stuck in his helmet to an artist friend who turned it into a charm:

Rob was already a badass, hitting this elk just cemented his infamy that much more.

Edited by wooden on May 17th 2017 at 11:09 AM

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day, deer, fud, kung

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