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Apr 8th 2019, 08:49 PM   #61
 JayFree's Avatar
 
  Apr 2019
  Swisshome

  Nunya
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarthVader
I'm doing a lot better now...they say time heals, and it is true. I'll always miss her, but not having the break downs now. I think that having room mates has helped a lot by giving me other things to put my mind on. will I ever find another riding companion, I do not know, but for now I am ok with that. plus with all my health issues, not sure I'll be able to ride as much as I once did.

all that said, I am at least for most part at peace with it all. I'm sure I'll still have times I will break down, but nothing like the first few months after it happened. I do miss having her around, she was a great lady and was one of a kind and helped me to be a better person.
I couldn't imagine losing my soulmate. I've lost people but never anyone as close to me as my wife. I'm so sorry you had to endure that horror. You're a strong person and, even though I don't know you, I can tell you're strong and have a huge heart. Keep your head up, I mean that both literally and figuratively. You are an inspiration.
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May 10th 2019, 11:37 AM   #62
 DarthVader's Avatar
 
  Mar 2016
  Maple Falls

  '02 ZX6R
almost at 9 months since I lost her....still have my moments...been thinking to hang up riding as its just not the same without her.....kind of in limbo at moment. If I could get my bike set up the way it should be I may have change of heart,but not even that may get my vibe back to ride going forward....miss having her around, she was my sounding board when I needed someone to put things into perspective.
May 10th 2019, 11:59 AM   #63
 Transported's Avatar
 
  Jan 2016
  Portland

  2006 FZ1, 1999 R1
At the risk of not knowing what I am talking about or saying the wrong thing, I would think that those who have left this earthly plane would not wish for their former beloved riding partner to remain without the benefit of someone to lean on and share the good and bad with, nor to stop enjoying what brought you both so much joy.

At the same time, it takes a while to adjust to the absence of someone who was your world, and nine months is nothing as far as working through trauma. I have taken longer for breakups.

And as for riding, if it doesn’t bring you joy or, worse, distresses you, then you should take a break from it until it seems desirable and joyful again. It may take finding someone or a group to ride with to build new experiences rather than being haunted by what once was.

I wish you peace of mind.
May 10th 2019, 12:15 PM   #64
 
  Aug 2016
  Snohomish county WA

  2009 harley fat bob , 2012 FZ1 ,1979 gs425 project
I just read this thread and I am very sorry for your loss. Could not even imagine what its like. Hang in there and keep moving forward. Also thank you for sharing.
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May 10th 2019, 05:02 PM   #65
 ZXtasy's Avatar
 
  Jan 2016
  Moses Lake, WA

  2013 Kawasaki Concours C-14, 2005 ZX-10R Kawasaki (Nekkid), '99 Yamaha TW-200
Very well put by Transported...
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Jun 11th 2019, 07:43 AM   #66
 DarthVader's Avatar
 
  Mar 2016
  Maple Falls

  '02 ZX6R
well...tomorrow will be 10 months. And I think I am doing better. not having break downs now, but still have moments that make me stop and think. Have been on the bike a bit, and it is begining to be enjoyable again. I will forever miss looking in my rear view mirror and seeing her there though. And our place in Dallas will always be "our" home!....there was not anyone like her in my life before I met her, and dont think I will ever find that in another....
And losing my Mom a couple weeks ago did not affect me the same as losing my Vicky.

got a tattoo to honor her and to help me to never forget her yesterday...

Edited by DarthVader on Jun 12th 2019 at 07:45 AM
Jul 3rd 2019, 04:20 PM   #67
 DarthVader's Avatar
 
  Mar 2016
  Maple Falls

  '02 ZX6R
July 3 1962....today would have been her birthday....missing her...but not having a break down...
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Jul 6th 2019, 06:36 PM   #68
 PuReGeNiUs's Avatar
 
  Feb 2016
  Anacortes

  2014 Yamaha FZ-09, Blazing Orange all decked out :)
Vicky will always be remembered. She was such a sweetheart West. Peace, love, and happiness to you brother.
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Jul 11th 2019, 04:23 AM   #69
 DarthVader's Avatar
 
  Mar 2016
  Maple Falls

  '02 ZX6R
Tomorrow (7-12) will be 11 months...as well as my moms funeral
services. Missing my little mouse a lot, as I really need someone
to lean on for this. 🙁
Jul 16th 2019, 08:07 PM   #70
 DarthVader's Avatar
 
  Mar 2016
  Maple Falls

  '02 ZX6R
Well, last year about this time me and Vicky had set this month aside for this
year to travel back to Michigan for her to show me where she was from.
I had been hesitant to go by myself, knowing she should still be here!
Well, since Iíve now lost my mom, I kind of had enough of death!...so
It was time to travel...I started on sat 13th...stayed night in Coulee
Dam area...the next night stayed in Missoula(where I was born)..then yesterday
went to Bismarck, ND...that was a long drive!..today, well, this has
been the hardest day to deal with. As I drove all the way to Michigan!..
I am glad I am doing this, but she should be sitting shot gun and
Guiding me!!! Been a pretty tuff day!...really worried about tomorrow
as I will be going to where she went to high school,etc....then into Detroit
to see where her dad worked and also where she was born... wish me luck
I donít have major breakdown!
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Jul 17th 2019, 04:00 AM   #71
 ZXtasy's Avatar
 
  Jan 2016
  Moses Lake, WA

  2013 Kawasaki Concours C-14, 2005 ZX-10R Kawasaki (Nekkid), '99 Yamaha TW-200
These journeys can be painful, but cathartic as they help you deal with the sorting out of things, the grief, the good memories to keep...all part of moving on. If your return trip sees you near Moses Lake, please look me up if you want to grab a soda/beer or kick tires and talk. There are many here that are on this trip with you in spirit.
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Jul 26th 2019, 01:30 PM   #72
 DarthVader's Avatar
 
  Mar 2016
  Maple Falls

  '02 ZX6R
well...made it there and back...only a few break downs along the way...now I know why she was wanting to share where she was from...



from Pictured Rocks National Park...I went to Lapeer where she lived up until after she finished high school...then she moved to Denver, followed by Salt Lake City...my next destinations on this adventure.

Aug 11th 2019, 04:27 PM   #73
 DarthVader's Avatar
 
  Mar 2016
  Maple Falls

  '02 ZX6R
well....tomorrow morning @ 11:30 it will be one year since I lost her...

Aug 11th 2019, 05:32 PM   #74
 ZXtasy's Avatar
 
  Jan 2016
  Moses Lake, WA

  2013 Kawasaki Concours C-14, 2005 ZX-10R Kawasaki (Nekkid), '99 Yamaha TW-200
Hang in there. These benchmark "anniversary" dates some times build up more than they end up becoming. The next day will be, a year and a day, and then 2 days, etc. The world spins on regardless of our pain. We have our memories and can choose to relive and relish the good ones.

Comforting thoughts sent your way. Phone lines are open... keep that front wheel pointed forward.
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