DarthVader

thx....right now I just am sorting it all out in my head...as a bit of an introvert(more so last couple years!)...I dont want to be around people...but when they are not here, then I fall apart...plus we hadnt finalized our wills so I am also being left out of a lot of things....but right now, I dont think I would be much help anyway...

Sentinel

While I don't want to crash any more than I already have over many many years of riding, I have often said I'd rather go out hauling ass on my bike than rotting in a hospital bed with tubes up my butt.

That loss, that emptiness, that shit hurts. But love would not be the same without the loss we feel when its gone. So feeling the loss is not "wrong". It is perfectly appropriate as an expression of that aspect of love.

Still.

Fek.

DarthVader

well put...thank you!

KRUKOV

Arnbo just informed me of this terrible news, I am so sorry for your loss West
Our thoughts & prayers are with you always

DarthVader

thx Tony....been a tuff week...during days now for most part can keep it together...its at night that I have trouble...keep blaming myself...plus the seen keeps playing in my head!...seeing her like she was rips my heart out!...be careful out there...I was only 20 seconds behind her...and when I got to her she was already gone!

Chrishil54

Good lord man! You sound like you believe falling apart right now is somehow bad, even if others see you do it. Go ahead, fall apart. Do so repeatedly, alone OR in front of others. If they question why you "can't be strong", send them here. We'll straighten them out for you.

On a slightly different note, if you need help, ask for it. We are a family and take care of our own.

Sentinel

This is the song I play in the garage when it's all karmic out and instead of sad I'm pissed:turned up to 11:

DarthVader

^^^^Krank...krank it to 11!

DarthVader

thx for the positivity!...really helps!...

and on the help dept....I need a couple bodies that know how to do engine swaps asap!....have this weekend to do it...then could lose a good motor in all this!...HELP!

msg me for the info....dont want to post that up here...
at least I'm starting to think again!

TedR

West, I wish I had some unique words to contribute here, but i do not.
Others here have already stated what I would wish to say.

Heartfelt condolences for your loss, and strongest wishes for Dignity, Grace and Courage to you during this most difficult time.

And please take good care of yourself, and your soul.

.

DarthVader

thx....taking this one day at a time....so far having friends and family around me has helped...but know that is only temp...once I'm alone is when it really hits me she is gone!....she loved riding so much and sharing her love for it with everyone that would listen. the last few years have been hard on me with my numbness in hands and neck pain...so out riding together was sporatic, but she cherished every time we did and would have her big smile at end of day that would last her for weeks!...I may do one final ride to a spot we would go to from time to time to get away from the world before I part with riding for good....will be hard to go forward riding without her, so it is time to stop for me....will miss it, as it was such a big part of my life these last 10 years!....

unicykle

I think it’s called more of a sabbatical, it may just take a few years but you might find once the wound scabs over that out riding is where you feel closest and the good memories flow again

Tombraider2

So sorry to hear this, God Bless.

DarthVader

Shooting for Sept 16th to spread her ashes for them that want to be there...msg me for more info....going to be a tough day for me as I am still not doing well in dealing with her loss!

That One Guy

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I cant imagine what you must be going through.

I hope you can find some peace, she will always be in your mirror, and in your heart. I hope you can find two wheel therapy again.